Jealousy – A tough emotion to deal with. We’ve all been there. We all have to deal with various levels of jealousy in one way or the other. Maybe you’re jealous of someone’ hair, looks or wardrobe. Or, maybe its because of someone’s house, job or salary. It doesn’t matter what you are jealous of, because its all bad!
At times, I feel myself tangled in it and we all should accept that this is an inevitable feeling, but if one does not know how to get a hold of it, it can damage one’s self esteem.
Jealousy is something no one enjoys and needs to be dealt with on time before it overpowers us and badly affects our mental health.
As a school kid, I remember being jealous of my classmates who would score higher than me, unfortunately, these feelings became more intense as I grew up.
What I am trying to say is that Jealousy is the beginning emotion, which can then create a lot of negative emotions like anger, anxiety, criticism. It will then begin a vicious cycle of heavy thinking .
Everyone has their own skills, talents, looks and personalities. We must not try to be someone else. But sometimes we may compare ourselves to others, that may lead to jealousy, and that can deplete our energy and self esteem. Hence, being aware of this feeling, accepting it and then dealing with it calmly is very important.
Not that, I am pro at dealing with this emotion, but still, I have gathered few tricks over the years to deal with it.
Also, I would be wrong if I say I have never experienced this feeling. I do, but I don’t let it control me. Here’s how I overcome jealousy:
1. Acceptance :Accept your emotions. Accept your flaws and imperfections. I push myself to say out loud that “I am Jealous”.There is nothing wrong in it, Acknowledging that you are jealous opens the door to learning.
2. Find out the reason: Once you have accepted your feelings, next you need to investigate the reasons for being jealous. Is it their appearance? Or , is it their salary or job. Or is it the lifestyle that someone is living. It can be anything, just figure it out.
3. Learn from your jealousy: We can use feelings of jealousy as inspiration to grow. It depends upon how you want to take up these feelings. For instance, lets say you realize that the reason you get jealous from a friend is that he plays guitar quite well. Rather than wallowing in jealousy, start taking guitar classes. Change the things you can by committing yourself to self-improvement.
4. Convert Jealousy into Admiration: The last step is converting the feelings of jealousy into the feelings of admiration. Instead of being insecure of someone’s capabilities or success, Admire that person for who he is and commit yourself to becoming a lifelong learner.
I know, this is not so easy, but you have to start somewhere. Begin by focusing on one single area of your life that you feel insecure about. Each small step taken towards the right direction leads to bigger and fruitful outcomes. 🙂
Finally, remember that nobody is perfect, be grateful for who you are and what you have become. Treat yourself with love and compassion each day. And, focus on yourself and don’t fall into the comparison trap.
Do share in comments the ways by which you tackle with insecurity or jealousy.
Keep Smiling till my next post !